I'll be completely honest with you – this year has been quite anxiety-inducing for me! There are many reasons for this, but overall I just wanted to share that this year I feel more doubt and stress than ever before, both personally and professionally, which is why some things I wanted to implement long ago are still in progress.
We all often experience fear that prevents us from moving forward, don't we?
RU version of the book I’ve read!
Recently, I read a book by Caroline Foran "The Confidence Kit: Your Bullsh*t-Free Guide to Owning Your Fear" about why this happens to us – all the doubts, fears, and worries, and how to deal with them. A lot resonated with me and I found a direct connection to my career in illustration, so today I wanted to share this with you – perhaps you too can find that very grain of understanding and support that you might be lacking right now.
So let's dive in, shall we?
Your achievements don't define you
Many of us are used to evaluating ourselves as individuals in terms of achieved successes or failures – whether we received an excellent review, whether we managed to do something well right away, or perhaps everything didn't go according to plan – all of this seems to directly affect who we are. But the truth is, it doesn't! You are a unique individual and whether you succeeded at something or not shouldn't raise or lower your confidence in yourself as a person, in whether you're a good person, etc. It's important not to forget who you really are.
Comfort zone and stress
The comfortable, warm, familiar comfort zone. You want to stay in it because everything is so simple and clear here! But to increase our confidence and accept fear, we must step out of it. And not even "seriously" step out, but just slightly stick our toe beyond the threshold, where there's something new for you. This light stress helps you feel more comfortable and exit the comfort zone gently – for example, writing emails to unfamiliar brands (I wrote about this in my previous newsletter with examples of real cold emails I use), this was a big stress at first but over time it became the norm – that's how the comfort zone works – it expands as you "step" on the threshold.
At the same time, strong stress prevents us from moving forward – it seems to paralyze us and interferes with our progress in our plans. So next time, precisely this LIGHT STRESS of leaving the comfort zone will become your updated comfort zone, and this way you can move without too much stress and fear of failure, but increasing your confidence.
WIA 2023 longlisted illustration about pain, fears, and doubts by Irene Neyman
The influence of social media
You've probably noticed this about yourself and know what I'm talking about – comparing yourself to others. What else but social media influences this? Most people are used to showing only the successful side of their life or career, and we subconsciously compare ourselves to them. Another example is how we track the number of views/likes under a new post and we get upset if we don't see the metrics we want or expect.
This causes the syndrome of "I'm only good when I get recognition" or "Everything works out better for them than for me". This prevents us from seeing reality and all those defeats that remain behind the scenes, but it's precisely those that become that very point of growth in the process, without which we simply CANNOT go anywhere.
We can't always be successful, the entire growth process is built on success and failure. But it's crucial to understand how we can expand our confidence through light stress and attempts that will become a beaten path on our journey. Step by step.
Allowing yourself to be imperfect – that's what's important. This will improve your confidence and release all the tension around perfectionism, which actually hinders productive growth.
If you have thoughts about this topic, book a coffee call with me where we can chit-chat about this.
As always, thanks for reading!
